So the story continues with more details than anyone needs to know… I know there is curiosity out there because some of you have specifically told me or expressed interest in wanting to know the details. So, I am going to be doing a little educational series that includes topics like: Sperm Donor Selection 101, Methods in Sperm Ordering and Shipping, and Insemination for Dummies. Today’s topic is Sperm Donor Selection 101:
Ashley and I began (seriously) looking through donors in August and September of last year. We had pretty much decided that we were going to go that route and thus looking for a donor seemed like the next logical step in the process. Plus, looking through demographics such as height, weight, eye color, hair color, etc. etc. etc. is quite interesting. We decided that we would want the donor to look a lot like Ashley as far as features go. We did this because we didn’t want people to be able to tell right off who gave birth. I am thinking now that people will always assume it was Ashley anyway, which is fine by me. So, we set out to find a donor that physically matched Ashley. This was a little bit difficult as we went with a smaller sperm bank based in New York so the selection was not as wide as some of the larger banks. After weeding through all of the short, pale, fair haired donors, we had about 10 or so that we scrutinized intensely. We even made up a scoring system and we scored each donor separately and then compared. We are dorks, I know. The thing about this whole process of “choosing a mate” is that typically you don’t get to read their genetic background, medical history, family history, and every other detail when you are dating them. You get what you get. But for us, we are selecting a parent for our child knowing all of these things. We tried to ignore things that some people care about like education level, number of languages spoken, great grandmother’s last words, amount of money left by the tooth fairy, etc. Instead we tried to pick someone that had an interesting life and someone that we felt good about. Ashley, from the beginning, felt good about our guy. As a child, Ashley and this guy could have been twins. He also had very interesting responses to some of the questions asked. As it turns out, he also had very good sperm quality (which we did not know when we selected him).
Stay tuned next time for Methods in Sperm Ordering and Shipping!