I know I’ve been somewhat alluding to it over the past few weeks and did that whole Blogging for LGBT Families last month, but now it is time to actually blog about it.
We want to have a baby. There, I said it.
I am running the Goofy Challenge at Disney in January and after the marathon we will start the (physical) process. The process has already been started as far as researching and watching movies where people have babies and wishing that we one ourselves. I won’t say that Ashley is obsessed Ashley is being prepared and she put together a little “Baby Binder” and everything. Ashley, you should put this picture in the binder:
The thing is, the binder is entirely necessary. Researching is even more necessary. There are so many different ways to go about getting pregnant as two women and so many little legal details that come along with each way. It’s made complicated by the fact that we are still living in Florida (though that shouldn’t be the case after January) so it’s difficult to get real answers that will apply once we are in Vermont.
Basically, Ashley and I both want to be the parents before the baby is born. We have read that the non-biological parent has to go through the adoption process and home study and all of that just to get the legal parent status. We have also read that you can petition a judge to waive that process prior to the baby’s birth in some cases. We have read that how you go about getting the sperm may effect these two options. There are lots of stories and blogs online by people who have gone through this whole process before. Some people use a relative of the non-bio-mom to donate so that both mothers are blood related. Some people use a friend or someone they know (I’m reminded of Rick and Steve, and Dana and Kirsten).
We aren’t so sure about either of these options. The relative thing makes sense, but then you know that the kid’s Uncle Joe or Cousin John is really the kid’s father. Not to mention, the kid and the rest of the family knows it, too. You can, of course, buy sperm from a bank. You can pick from a huge list of donors that have undergone lots of medical testing, interviewing, etc. You can even pay extra to get a donor that is willing to be contacted when the child turns eighteen. But, I’m not so sure about that.
Anyone have experience with any of this? Anyone have any advice? We’d be glad to hear it!