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Family Friday XXVI: Educational Series III

February 4, 2011

Insemination for Dummies:
When we tell people that we did an at home insemination, no one knows what to think. Most people that have artificial insemination on their radar think of it in terms of going to a fertility specialist and having a doctor use some sterile tools to insert the goods into the uterus (IUI). This is great except that it is expensive and, in our case, completely unnecessary. I like to think that our way of doing things was precisely halfway between a couple with an infertility problem and Kirsten and Dana’s solution in “Rick and Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World.”
 
 
Kirsten and Dana ask their friend to supply the sperm so that they can have a baby. He donates and they turkey baster. We were not okay with asking someone we know for the goods so this was the second best option. We bought the goods and (no we did not use an actual turkey baster) did the insemination ourselves. It is not actually as scientific or difficult as you might imagine. The shipment comes with very specific instructions on dethawing, preparing, and using. It also comes with the supplies needed. The whole process from opening the tank to insemination completed takes about 15 to 20 minutes. It is the two weeks of waiting after that is the hard part. Did it work? Did we do something wrong? Do you feel anything? Is that a sign of pregnancy? Do you feel pregnant? What does feeling pregnant feel like? When can you take the pee test? How many days has it been? How many days left? I want a doughnut, is that a craving? Are you in there little fetus? And it just keeps going…

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